Hold Her, Damn It!
by Yecart
Summary: Kate finally breaks and takes some time off at Lanie's insistance to get over Castle. Meanwhile Castle figures out that not everything is right in this scenario.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. I had this idea of Castle looking after Kate in her father's cabin. Some how that morphed into this.**

**No Copyright Infringement Intended**

* * *

"I'd like to request some time off sir," Kate announced to Captain Gates after closing up her latest case.

The Captain raised her eyebrows. This was the first time that the Detective had asked for any personal time and she'd been back for over ten months. Beckett hadn't asked for short days or time for doctor's appointments and in fact was quite the workaholic. She had been watching.

"How long do you need?" Gate's asks her sternly.

"Umm, I haven't really thought that far ahead Sir," Kate tells her embarrassingly.

Gates could tell that the Detective wasn't quite herself, and decided straight away that whatever issues were going on it was best that they be solved. "I'll give you the week, and then you can call in if you need more time Detective," Gates tells her off handedly.

"Thank you, Sir," Kate replies quietly.

"Detective?" Gates calls as Kate is reaching for the door handle. "I hope you work some things out," she tells her sincerely turning her head to look out the window of the office at Castle who is helping to pack up the murder board.

"Me too," Kate replies looking out the window at Castle too.

* * *

"Heading home?" Castle asks.

Kate, surprised by the comment looks up from her desk where she is collecting her bag and jacket, "Something like that," she forces a smile.

Castle can see from her posture that she's had enough of his attitude for one day and decides to lay off, "Ride carefully".

"Oh, I'm leaving the bike here for a bit," Kate tells him matter of fact.

"It's Thursday. You always ride the bike on Thursday," Castle replies, confused.

Feeling that she needs to explain Kate answers, "I'm taking a bit of time and Lanie offered to drive me, so I didn't need the bike".

"Time? Drive you?" Castle asks, feeling out of the loop.

"Yeah, things have been feeling off lately and I think I'm stressed and I just... I really need some quiet time, you know. My life really needs that right now, some time to think" she throws back at him.

"I guess I'm just a little surprised you'd make this decision so out of the blue," Castle tells her.

"Well I was encouraged by Lanie, but I knew she was right and I haven't been sure about anything else lately and it's starting to effect my work, the Captain agrees," she replies sadly.

Castle frowns, "You never said anything".

"I wasn't sure it mattered, I guess I'll see you," Kate looks over at him one last time and see's the concern but puts it down to his being unprepared for his not knowing anything.

Before she could get too far her phone rings, "Beckett," she answers half heartedly.

Castle, wanting to know exactly what was going on couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"Oh, that's fine Lanie, don't worry about it, I kind of wouldn't mind the drive out there anyway, you know, get my mind off things," Kate talks into the phone.

Kate hangs up and turns around running straight into him, "ooufff".

"Sorry," he apologises whilst righting them. Her pulse quickens as she disentangles herself.

"That's fine Castle, guess I spoke to soon. I will be riding tonight after all," she tells him distractedly walking back to her desk and retrieving her helmet.

"So, where are you off to?" Castle asks her.

Kate turns to him looking him straight in the eye seeing a little of the old Castle for a moment. "Guess I'm off to find the same place you seem to have found the last couple of weeks," Kate tells him staring straight through him.

Taken aback by the betrayal in Kate's eyes Castle can only watch as she makes her way over to the elevators, may be he'd gone too far and may be he'd been wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

**No Copyright Infringement Intended**

* * *

Kate rode straight to the morgue to talk to Lanie before going home to pick up her things and go to her Dad's cabin. She needed another pep talk for getting over things.

"Girl! Finally, I was wondering when you were going to get your skinny ass down here!" Lanie wasted no time with greetings.

"Hey Lanie," Kate says dejectedly.

"What's wrong? You know I'm sorry I have to stay and take on Perlmutter's cases, there was nothing I could do to get out of it," she groans.

"It's not that Lanie, I appreciated your offer but I was always fine to get out there myself, I guess I'll just miss the convincing," Kate sighs.

"Well, I couldn't get you to talk to writer boy or as you say, he won't give you any time to discuss anything. If you accept that then there is only one thing that is to be done," she tells her matter of fact.

"It hurts, Lanie," Kate moans, hugging herself.

"I know sweetie, but after all this time, maybe it's for the best. You've been miserable and Castle, well, Castle has been a complete jerk, maybe he just isn't who we thought he was," Lanie tells her grimly.

"I know Lanie, it's just, this evening when I was leaving for a second it felt like it used to, you know, like we understood each other," she wipes at her tears.

"How much time did Gates give you?" Lanie quickly changes the subject.

"Well, she started it at a week, but she acknowledged I might need more time to sort things out and told me to call," Kate sniffed.

"Well, that's certainly something," Lanie agrees.

"Yeah, I hate that it's obvious enough for Gates to go soft on me though. It's like she knows how crushed I am even if she doesn't know what's going on, I hate that," Kate frowns.

"Well, Gates never wanted Castle in her precinct in the first place, she knows how hard you fought to keep him there, it can't be a secret that things have changed and you've been miserable, she doesn't want anyone to get hurt," Lanie explains.

"I feel unprofessional Lanie, I've let things get out of control and it's effected the job and I don't want to be this person, so dejected and having Ryan and Esposito look at me like I'm fragile," Kate was a mess.

"That's why this is a good idea. Go back to your father's cabin, back to a place of reason and think about what you need to do, and decide and then do it. Get over Castle if he isn't who you thought he was, don't waste time feeling like this. Come back stronger. Whatever you decide will be for the best, I know it," Lanie hugs Kate.

"Thanks Lanie," I'll call you when I get there, but I might not be up for any more conversation after that," Kate sighs.

"That's okay girl, you just look out for number one, alright?" Lanie nods.

"I will," Kate swipes at her face again and then leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

**No Copyright Infringement Intended**

* * *

When Kate finally got out to her father cabin it was around 10pm. She'd ended up packing, picking at some food, and then charging off on her bike. She was going to be very minimalist out at the cabin and so she had packed lightly.

She quickly texted Lanie to let her know she had arrived safely, then took her gear off the bike and went inside to set up.

It had been almost a year since she had been out here but her father often came out over weekends to go fishing. In fact, it was likely that he would find her up here this weekend, so she'd only have a day to really get her shit together. Her Dad didn't know about everything that was going on and she didn't want to worry him.

Everything was just as it always was, cosy and quiet, cool and calm. The heat seemed to be working though, so that was a plus. If there was anything wrong with the heating tonight, the crying would certainly start earlier.

Speaking of crying, Kate had been having a rather large crying jag almost every evening and it was almost always entirely Castle related. She felt that by now she should be all cried out. She'd only ever cried this much once before and that had been her mother, which she still occasionally cries about. It seemed an impossible thing that the people you love most are the ones that hurt you the most. Considering that twice, these crying jags had happened whilst sleeping on the break room couch, it was probably the right time to be having some time out from the depressing things.

Having no energy for anything but a shower Kate got her pyjamas took a scolding shower and then crawled into her bed, too tired to even cry.

* * *

Castle had spent a good hour after Kate had left frowning at the empty murder board. He had been so consumed with dealing with his own pain he hadn't been watching Kate like he used to. Afraid that he'd missed the signs he tried to recall anything that might have given away how Kate was feeling before the look of devastation he had seen creep between the cracks of her heavily guarded facade.

He knew that he had been quite flippant and even indifferent, but he hadn't meant it. He'd be trying to hide his pain and he needed time to be mad. He hadn't stopped to think that this would hurt her the way her behaviour indicated that it had. Unless there was something more serious going on.

What if Kate had been trying to tell him something serious when he kept blowing her off for that dumb blonde. He would be lying if he said he wasn't slightly pleased with the fact that he'd upset her a bit with that, but she didn't care about him, was probably only worried about who would entertain her.

His musing wasn't helping him feel better. He couldn't turn the switch off, was fairly sure he was the cause of the mini break down he'd just been a witness to. He could see the pain in her eyes, the anger that she was feeling towards him. If she didn't care why was she so hurt? Perhaps he really was a fool.

* * *

Gates was startled as Castle burst into her office suddenly and without warning. He was panting and looked panicked. She lowered her glasses to stare at him and he swallowed. "Captain, Sir, umm, how long is Kate going to be out?"

"Mr Castle, is there a reason you are parading around my precinct like a road runner?"

"I'm sorry, but this might be very important!" he tells her desperately.

Gates, sits up straight and stares him down before replying, "I gave her as long as she needs, Mr Castle, perhaps you should too," she tells him disapprovingly.

"Sir?" he questions.

"You've turned my people into emotional wrecks Mr Castle, it isn't conducive to getting the job done and I don't need crying detectives! Now, I don't know what exactly is going on here but don't think that I don't see some of the shit that goes on out there," she points to the bullpen. "You're an excellent investigator Mr Castle, but you're a selfish man and for all the shadowing you do, you wouldn't know what was really going on if I yelled it in your face!" Gates finished, dismissing him silently by turning back to her work.

Castle was stunned as he left Gates office. What the hell was going on. Even Gates was shitty with him. What had he missed? Kate was the one who'd ripped HIS heart out! He needed to talk to Lanie.


	4. Chapter 4

**No copyright infringement intended**

* * *

"Lanie!" Castle crashed through the doors of the morgue.

Lanie jumped, surprised from the burst of loud ignorance disturbing the deadly peace and quiet.

"Castle! What the hell is your problem!" She screamed at him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You have to help me, tell me what the hell is going on here!" he begged hysterically.

"Castle, if you have to ask me what is going on here than you don't deserve to know, besides, don't you have some hot bimbo to be driving around New York with?" She told him aggressively.

"Look, I know I've been a jerk, but I'm not the only one at fault here Lanie, Kate breaks my heart, and now, she's is acting like the victim! I don't understand!" he was getting really mad.

Lanie, curious, finally took pity on him and decided to find out just what the hell WAS going on. "Kate broke your heart?" She questions.

"She heard me Lanie. She knows that I love her, but she never said anything, even after she recovered!" he tells her indignantly.

"When did you reveal this to her exactly?" Lanie questions, unfazed by where this was headed.

"When she got shot, I was holding her and talking to her before she passed out. She told me she didn't remember anything, that it was all a blank, but she told a suspect two weeks ago that she remembered every single detail!" he tells her, eyes wide.

"Well, maybe she was just baiting the guy Castle, if it was such a big secret why would she say it so openly with you around!" Lanie states obviously.

"She wasn't baiting him, she didn't even know I was watching," he calms.

"Look, I don't know what is going on, but I can tell you this much, you too have got to sort this communication issue out," Lanie said disapprovingly.

Twice in 15 minutes he'd be spoken to disapprovingly. "Come on Lanie, I know you were supposed to drive her somewhere, where is Kate?" he pleads.

"She left to take some time out to get over this thing with you and move on, she can't keep going on like this, you make her miserable," Lanie pleads back.

Castle is disheartened to learn for sure that he is the reason Kate is so upset but is now determined to fix everything.

"I didn't think she cared Lanie, I didn't do this to hurt her! I was just trying to move on!" He explains.

"Well, now Kate is trying to and at least she has the decency not to flaunt it in your face," Lanie growls.

"She's run off with some guy? Is it Josh?" Castle asks anxiously.

"What? What is wrong with you? She hasn't rushed off into some hotties arms the way you throw yourself at those bimbo's! She fell in love with you, you fool! She's gone off to the woods to drown her sorrows and think about everything, you know; come to terms with the fact that you suck so she can come back and work without breaking every night! You bastard! I mean really, you follow her around, you should know how far she has come, how hard she is working so she can get her shit together and move on to better things with you!"

Castle has to sit at this information. How is it that he could miss all the signs. Gates was wrong. He does know Kate Beckett, knows that she isn't as cruel as he made her out to be in his head. That he was too quick to believe the worst by her lie instead of seeing it through her eyes. He didn't take the information in about the 'woods'. He was too ashamed of himself.

"Lanie. I didn't, I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think. I couldn't see past the lie," there were tears running down his face.

Lanie could see that Castle genuinely cared about what he had done. "Look, Castle, give her some time," Lanie repeats.

"Time? You want me to give her some time? I can't let her go on thinking for another second that I don't love her! Especially if she doesn't even understand the way I've been acting," he pleads desperately.

"I promised to leave her be Castle, if you care so much may be you should call her, but I doubt she's going to want to speak with you right now. You've really hurt her, even if she has hurt you, she's never not loved you," Lanie turned back to her work ignoring Castle.

Castle covers his face with his hands as he leans against the wall and screams his frustrations, "Why the hell is this so bloody difficult!" he yells, surprising Lanie once more.

Lanie watches him leave, wondering to herself about this 'lie'. I mean, Kate all but admitted to her that she had big feelings for Castle and it had never been a secret how much Castle admired Kate. So why had Kate been so unsure about telling Castle how she felt, if she'd known that he loved her? A mystery. They were a god damn cute ass mystery. Figures.

Even though she had encouraged Kate to get over Castle she did honestly still believe that they were meant for each other. After what she'd seen from Castle she was even more sure of it. However, it was up to Kate how she dealt with it. That girl felt things deep, so it would be a question of how much her love for Castle outweighed her current disliking of the man. She shakes her head and speaks to the body, "Yeah, why the hell is this so bloody difficult!"


	5. Chapter 5

**No Copyright Infringement Intended.**

* * *

When Castle arrived back at his loft he went straight to his study and locked the door. Sat down with his best bottle of scotch and did some long hard thinking. The situation was becoming more and more hostile, no thanks to him. It was akin to his marriage breakdowns only this time he felt like he was losing more than a lover, he was in love with Kate, and from what he had learnt from Lanie, Kate may have been in love with him too. She was his best friend, one of the only women he'd ever met that wasn't at all phased by his fame or money. Sure, she'd lied to him, but he didn't bother to confront her about it. He was a hypocrite. It wasn't as if he was clean of secrets either, and Kate would be just as angry to find out, even though it was done with good intentions.

Deciding that he had to make amends and attempt to salvage what he had been trying to destroy he takes a swig of his scotch, breathes and then picks up his phone to call Kate, not even looking at the time.

Kate had been sleeping restlessly, sniffing and hugging her pillow when her phone started to ring. Being so exhausted she answered without looking at who was calling.

"Hello," she sniffed.

"Kate! Hi, it's me. Look, I really think that you and I need to talk," he tells her.

"I thought that too," Kate whispered still groggy and wondering what was going on.

"Great, do you think you could let me know where you are so we can have that talk?" He asks her.

"Rick, what time is?" She demands.

"Ah, around 2:30 in the morning, sorry about that, I must have lost track of the time," he tells her sheepishly.

"Right. Well, you didn't want to talk to me over the last couple of weeks when I asked you. I don't see why all of a sudden we need to talk about things after 2 in the morning," she tells him gruffly.

"I know, you're right, you're completely right. I've been ... preoccupied," he says.

"Oh, I've noticed," Kate says sarcastically.

"Look, I know I've been a bit of an ass and that you don't understand, but it was the only way I knew how to deal with how I was feeling!" He tries to explain.

"The way you were feeling? I knew something was wrong, I thought I'd done something, but you wouldn't tell me, I, I could have helped you Castle, I would have helped you," she sighs.

"I don't know how things got this strained or how we can hurt each other so much," Rick sighed.

"Me either, guess it kind of just sneaks up on you," Kate replies.

"Can we fix this, Kate?" Castle asks her.

"I don't know. I'm so confused by everything and the way I've been feeling, I, this is exactly why I can't be in any relationship. I can't even watch closely enough to know what is going on when things go bad," she sniffs and tries to regain her composure.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Kate. I thought. I thought that you didn't feel the same way and I was trying to move on and..." he was interrupted.

"Look, Castle. I'm past the point now of talking about this, I really, this just really makes things feel worse and I understand that you've had to move on, for whatever reason. You..., can you just let me do the same so I don't have to feel like the world's biggest idiot in front of everyone day in and day out?" She begs and he can hear that she is crying.

"Move on? You, you want to move on?" Castle feels crushed yet again.

"I think it would be for the best, don't you?" she sniffs.

"I think we have a lot to talk about," he stood by his original intentions.

Kate sighs, "It's late, do you think we can just leave this alone for the time being? You can go back to whoever you were hanging out with and I can go back to sleep," Kate says frustratingly.

"Kate, I wasn't hanging out with anyone tonight, but if you want to get technical I have only been spending time with people. Nothing serious," he tries to sooth her.

"Oh? So your big weekend in Vegas wasn't 'serious'?" She questions.

Castle can see how this all looks to Kate, and he can see that she is upset about it, the fact that he might have moved on and been with all these other women. He felt like a jerk.

"If by serious, you mean, serious drinking with residual hangover you would be correct, and as for the flight attendant, she wasn't interested in anything more than a roll in the sack, which I didn't feel like doing with her," he tells her honestly.

Kate is shocked by his statement, "So all the women you've been parading around with ..." She leaves her statement hanging.

"Yeah," Castle answers.

"I think I'd still like some time Castle, out here. I need to think. This, this is all a little too crazy for me to deal with,".

"Okay. Wait! Out here? Where are you Kate?" He tries one last time.

"Where no one can hurt me," she replies before hanging up.


	6. Chapter 6

No Copyright Infringement Intended.

A/N. To people who are all over this story saying that it sucks because Castle is always the bad guy, it isn't suppose to read that way, and I think the blame is pretty equal. If you think Castle is the 'bad guy' here and are really that upset about what is essentially a piece of fiction, as is the entire show, your subconscious is telling you something. I'll admit that it is a quickly written bit of trash, but if you want a story the way you view the characters, write your own.

* * *

Kate continued to sleep restlessly after her phone conversation with Castle. She didn't understand. One minute he wanted nothing to do with her, was seemingly indifferent to it all and now he wants to fix things? Lanie was right, wasn't she? Castle was moving on and she needed to as well.

She made a conscious decision to let everything from the real world go for the night so she could sleep. She truly was exhausted and whatever ended up happening at the end of the day she couldn't make rational decisions being so exhausted.

By morning she'd probably had four hours sleep, but once the sun had come up her early morning routine kicked in and there was no more sleep to be had.

Friday was bright and sunny and just what she needed to get her mind to a better place. She decided that she would make some toast and then go for a hike through the woods, may be walk around the lake, nothing too strenuous. Get back to nature.

She was right about it being good for the soul, out here in the woods where things were peaceful you could sit out on a rock and just watch nature and anything else going on didn't matter. So peaceful was the surrounds that Kate didn't feel time pass and it wasn't until around four o'clock in the afternoon that the spell was broken by a crack of thunder.

She'd been absorbed in not thinking and just watching that she hadn't actually seen the storm that had been brewing. She didn't have far to walk to get back to her father's cabin so she hurried back trying to beat the rain. She wasn't lucky enough though and got caught towards the end having to run the last few yards.

She got back to the cabin panting and drenched. Sighing, she took as much clothing off as she could inside the front door and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up.

* * *

When she came out her father was in the kitchen holding out a hot chocolate, "Looks like it's not going to be a great weekend for fishing," he tells her.

Kate knew to expect her father sometime this evening but hadn't thought to compose herself in time and he didn't miss the sad eyes or the depressed atmosphere.

"What's going on Katie? Why did you really come up here?" He asks, worried.

"I told you Dad, I've been stressed and distracted and the Captain agreed that I needed to take some time to regroup so that I wouldn't be letting anyone down," she explains as quickly as she can.

"I've never seen you this stressed about the job before," he answers.

"I guess things have just changed a lot," she replies.

"How so?"

"Ever since the shooting I've been working hard to get on top of things. Too many people have been hurt because of Mom's case. Too many people that I care about," she whispers.

"I, I promised Castle that I would give it a rest, and I haven't touched it since," she continues.

"He's the only one that can get through to you Katie. That was why I asked him to stop you the first time," Jim says.

"First time?" Kate questions.

"Before your Captain was shot, I asked him to convince you to stop because I feared you were putting yourself in danger, turns out that I was right, you ended up with a bullet in your chest," he tells her on the verge of tears.

"He did, try and stop me. I got mad, and I kicked him out," Kate remembers sadly.

"Oh, I didn't realise that he had tried," Jim whispered.

"That's why when he asked this last time, I let it rest," Kate tells him.

"So, tell me then if you haven't touched the case, why all the stress? What's changed?" Jim asks.

"Castle has changed," Kate replies, regretting it the moment the words leave her mouth.

Jim see's the turmoil in his daughters eyes and knows better than to push her for answers that she is more than likely not willing to give. So he nods, "You need some space," he tells her.

"Exactly, space is what I need. I thought this was the safest place to go when I needed some time, so here I am," she smiles half-heartedly.

"I don't like to see you hurting Katie," Jim whispers across the table.

"I don't like to hurt," Kate replies.

"Is there anything I can do?" Jim asks.

"I'd ask you to teach me how to forget, but we both know that would never turn out well," Kate smiles ruefully.

"I understand. Not the best person to be fixing matters of the heart," he agreed.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I didn't mean.."

"It's okay Katie bug, you're hurting, but tell me, I didn't know that you and Rick were in a relationship? I don't understand exactly what has happened," he pried.

"We aren't, never have been, never will be," Kate says dejectedly.

"What? But Katie, the man loves you!" Jim replies in all seriousness.

Kate huffs, "he has a strange of showing it lately,".

Jim doesn't understand. He knows the man that he met loves his daughter, he was sure that the love that Richard Castle had for his Katie was as deep as his was for his beautiful Joanna. He hated to see Kate upset and knew that sometimes she needed a push. She wasn't going to explain more than she had so he decided to make an executive decision.

"Listen, Katie, It's obvious that you want some time, some space to think, the weather is going to be awful this weekend, certainly not good for fishing or getting through the next week without a cold. In the morning I'll head back to the city and you can take whatever time you need to sort things out, okay?

"Thanks Dad," Kate rounds the table and hugs him before excusing herself back to her room for an early night. It was time she tried to catch up on sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

No copyright Infringement Intended

* * *

Jim Beckett decided early the next morning that his weekend was better off spent in the city and that Kate did need someone, but it wasn't him. He had to get a hold of Richard Castle if he was going to solve this.

Back in the city Castle was suffering from loss of sleep just as much as Beckett, only he was feeling sick over the whole thing. Kate wanted to move on, as in move on from him. She was invested, he had been wrong, and she doesn't want to talk about things, how could he have stuffed up any worse than this?

His phone rings and he dives across to his night stand to retrieve it hoping to God that it is Kate coming to her senses.

"Hello?" He pants into the receiver.

"Mr Castle?" Jim Beckett asks.

"Yes?" Castle frowns.

"It's Jim Beckett," he announces.

"Jim! Hi, is everything all right? Have you heard from Kate? Where is she? Please, is everything alright?

"Calm down Rick, I was actually calling to ask you some of the same things," he chuckles.

"Oh," Castle sighs disappointedly.

"To answer your questions, no, I don't believe that everything is alright, I was with Kate yesterday evening but left early this morning as the weather was not conducive to fishing and my daughter wasn't exactly thrilling company," he tells him.

"Jim, you have to understand, there has been a horrible misunderstanding and I've been a complete jerk but if you could just tell me where Kate is, I could fix things!" Rick begs.

Jim considers things for a moment, "I'm not sure my daughter wants to be found," he replies. "Perhaps you could explain why my daughter is so heart-broken and then I can decide whether or not you deserve to know?" He purposes.

"Okay, fine. Umm I heard Kate say something that made me think that she didn't have the same feelings that I do towards her and so I was hurt, you know? So I tried to get over her and hide my frustrations by pushing her away and going on dates and just generally reverting back to a period of time from my early 20s," he admits.

"Are you a man whore Mr Castle?" Jim Beckett blurts out.

"What!" Castle spits out his water.

"Have you or have you not 'moved on," Jim asks him in a frustrated tone.

"There hasn't been anyone in almost a year Mr Beckett, I've had feelings for Kate since I met her but it's never been the right time, I mean, she has had relationships in the time that I've known her, but I thought we'd worked through things, that eventually we were going to work out but she lied, she knew I loved her and she lied about knowing. I know now that things are more than black and white, and that I may have jumped to the wrong conclusion, but I can't fix it if nobody will let me talk to Kate," Castle persists.

"Talk to her? You could always phone her, couldn't you?" Jim asks.

"I've spoken to her once already early on Friday morning but she didn't seem to hear what I was saying. She is so convinced that moving on is just the thing we are doing and, and well, she was too upset to discuss things any further. The time for talk has finished Jim, I have to show her!" He declares.

"I don't know why Rick, but my daughter is in love with you and she is up in my cabin, probably still crying her eyes out because she thinks she is replaceable, you had time to confront her about these things did you not?" He asks.

"Yes, look, I know that I should have been upfront with her but I was so crushed I couldn't deal with it the way I should have," Castle sighs.

"How is she," Castle asks after the silence become too much.

"She seemed pretty depressed but then she took to her room and I could hear her sniffing all night, so I wouldn't be surprised if she is too exhausted to have a talk with you," Jim mutters.

"You say she is at your cabin?" Castle asks.

"Yes, it's the first time since the summer. Quite cold out, especially with the rain," he mentions.

"Thanks for letting me know Jim, I will fix things," Castle responds.

"I know you will, you're a good man Richard Castle, at least, that is what Katie has been telling me for a long time, I hope you can work things out, this is the first time I've seen my daughter this devastated since her mother passed away," Jim tells him sadly.

"I won't let you down, Jim," Castle replies before hanging up.

* * *

Castle jumped on his laptop and checked road maps and the weather, it looked to be quite dreary outside and the radar indicated that storms were going to be the norm for the rest of the weekend. Jim had given him enough clues and Kate had spoken about the cabin before so he knew where to go.

He could be there by three that afternoon if he packed up and left as soon as he could.

* * *

Kate finally conceded that there wasn't going to be anymore sleeping in and was out of bed by lunch time. Her Dad had left a note saying that he hoped she could get some rest and relax a bit and that he'd brought some honey flavoured porridge.

She had to eat something so the porridge it was. One of her favourites. She struggled to eat it though because every bite felt like cardboard in her mouth.

It was still dark and raining outside and she could hear thunder in the distance. It quite suited her mood. Sad and angry at the same time. Sad for the feelings of loss at having loved something that didn't want her anymore and angry for feeling that way.

She sat on the lounge in the small sitting area with a cup of tea watching the storm approach out of the large window. It was coming in fast, the wind was picking up and there were branches swinging in nearby trees. She normally enjoyed storms but all through childhood and into her late teens she had been frightened by the potential of a storm destroying her safe haven, the cabin.

Perhaps the storm wouldn't be too bad, the heating was still working, and that was a plus, it was usually so rickety in bad weather making it even harder to stay warm.

Suddenly, there was a flash of lightening and the storm picked up and thunder clashed and everything seemed darker. Having gotten a fright Kate placed her tea on the coffee table and went to make sure all the windows were still secure after her Dad's short visit.

Everything seemed to be in order so she moved her shaking body back into her bed, and rapped herself in her doona, right before the lights went out.


	8. Chapter 8

No Copyright Infringement Intended

* * *

Castle was getting close to the cabin, only, it was taking him a lot longer than expected due to the weather, it was almost four o'clock. It felt like he had been driving forever and after a couple of wrong turns and a close encounter with slight flooding he was certainly glad to spot Kate's bike under a small closed in area of the cabin.

From the outside it looked dark inside, and the surrounding area looked like it had been fully crapped on by the storm.

He ran from his SUV and climbed the front steps opening up the door slowly, "Kate?" He calls.

There is no answer and when he turns to put on the lights nothing happens. He knows she must be here because he bike is. He takes of his jacket and hangs it by the door, noticing how cold it is inside.

"Kate!" He calls again. Once again, there is no answer.

He travels down the hall towards the back to the cabin and see's her name engraved above one of the doors and smiles.

He knocks gently so as not to frighten her and then opens the door. There on her bed she is shaking like a leaf and wrapped up in her bed covers, it appears that she is sleeping but when he touches her cheek she feels freezing. He tries to wake her, get some kind of response, and when she doesn't awaken he panics.

"Kate? Come on Kate, wake up," she continues to shiver.

Being too far away from civilisation and hoping she can be warmed up, Castle sheds his shirt and pants and climbs in behind her wrapping her in his arms.

"It's going to be okay, Kate. I'm so sorry," he whispers, holding her tightly.

* * *

Kate starts to wake up around seven o'clock feeling rested and warm and happy. She doesn't feel like she did hours ago and it takes her some time to put her finger on what's happening. She remembered feeling frightened because of the storm and hiding in her bed, and then the lights went out meaning the heat was gone too, but she didn't feel cold. She felt, arms.

She was resting in someone's arms. She was content and she knew the smell instantly. Castle. She slowly turns to find him asleep, holding her like a pillow. She has no idea where he came from, when he turned up or how he even knew where she was, but she is surprisingly glad that he is there.

She reaches up to smooth his fringe away from his forehead, just looking at him. The room is illuminated with the shine of the moon and she knows that the power must still be out, the generator more than likely took a hit in the storm.

He'd said on the phone that he wanted to fix things. That he thought that she didn't love him. He must have figured things out if he'd come all the way out here.

"You're awake," she hears him ask her.

"Yeah, what are you doing here Rick?" She asks him softly.

"I had to talk to you, before you moved on I mean," he tells her.

"We did talk," she whispers, putting her hand on his chest and realising that it is bare.

"Why are you practically naked?" She asks looking down to discover his boxers.

"When I got here you didn't answer and when I found you in here you were shaking so bad and I couldn't wake you and so I figured you might be getting hypothermia and I remembered after the freezer when they told us that using our body heat was smart that being less clothed was supposed to help warm you up faster," he rambles.

"Oh.." Kate is speechless.

"Yeah, so umm I thought things didn't go so great, on the phone. I think you misunderstand what's been happening, and I know it's my fault," he admits.

"What are you doing here Rick? Really? I mean, yes we did discuss things and I think it's past the point where you need to physically tell me that you're over this. You have a girlfriend and you've had no problem showing me the last two weeks that I am just a blimp on your radar. I get it," she sighs.

"Kate, I'm not dating anyone, I haven't been with any of those women you've seen me hanging out with, I was just trying to fade away back into that lifestyle as a distraction," he tells her.

"Because you think that I don't love you, you said that on the phone," she says.

"Right, but after the way you've been acting I see now that maybe the way I went about displaying my anger was not quite the best way to go about it," he replies.

"I just don't understand why all of sudden you just pushed me away, what did I do?" She starts to cry.

He hugs her tightly and begs her to not cry, "I heard you in interrogation, you remember your shooting, you know that I told you that I loved you. I thought because you didn't bring it up again that you were trying to save me the embarrassment and I felt even more embarrassed then," he admits.

"I've been working so hard Castle, to be ready. There was so much to deal with at the time and when I came back I wasn't sure where we stood, and bringing it up out of the blued seemed awkward. What if you didn't feel that way anymore? What if I'd just dreamed you said it? I had no reason to believe that the sentiment was still unchanged," she explains.

"I'm sorry that I acted like a jerk," he tells her.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you too," Kate replies.

"It's pretty cold in here," he tells her.

"I know, the storm must have stopped the generator. It'd be even colder to try and go out and fix it and it's still raining. Thank you for keeping me warm," she says.

"I guess we'll just have to keep each other warm until morning, what time is it?" He asks her.

"I don't know, check the nightstand for my phone," she tells him.

He reaches over and brings the phone back to her, she lights up the screen and announces to him that it is not long after seven in the evening. He can see her face more clearly now, can see her red rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks, knows that she has been crying for longer than he'd care to think about.

"We slept for a few hours then, I'm not sure how long you'd be sleeping before I got here," he says.

"I went back to bed once the storm really hit, and then the lights went out and I was restless and scared and it was cold and I must have just fell asleep, I was exhausted," she admits.

"Hmmm," Castle replies.

"What?" Kate asks him.

"Were you really going to come out here and move on?" He asks.

"Well, I thought that it was what I needed to do, you wouldn't afford me the chance to tell you how I felt and then I figured with that flight attendant it wasn't worth the hurt and you seemed happy enough so I was just going to leave you to it," she says.

"Happy? I was not happy, it was all for show, I was putting on a strong face, trying to accept that I wasn't in the place that I thought I was.

"But you were!" Kate pleads.

"I know. I know that now. I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm here now, and I'm going to hold you and I'm never going to let go, I don't want you to think that I would ever just lose interest and move on like that Kate. As long as you love me I'm not going anywhere," he tells her reverently.

"I do. Love you, that is. I have for such a long time but it just never seemed like the right moment, and I love what we've had and I don't want any of my issues to ruin it," she whispers.

All we need is each other, the rest we can figure out.

she moves so that she is level with him before holding his face and kissing him smoothly and with deep affection. He returns her kiss trying to show her just how much he loves her.

"I know these romantic reunions are usually full of sex but to be honest I'm so emotionally exhausted that I don't have any of the energy," she whispers with a chuckle.

"That's okay Kate, I just want to hold you, I'll always want to hold you," he replies.

The thunder picks up again, but this time, she's not scared.

* * *

A/N: I kind of feel like the story is complete as is, unless anyone has ideas as to how this would continue. Thanks for reading.

Yecart.


End file.
